Painting the Barn

When the old gray mare ain't what she used to be, painting the barn is more of a challenge than it was when milady was just a silly filly, but, at any age, putting on one's face isn't a simple matter, which is why this article is necessary.

It may be hard to believe, but there's more to a woman than her tits and ass. There's her twat, too.

Just kidding. There's a lot more, of course. There are her face and--well, that's about it, unless you count her hair.

Okay, okay, I'm joking, all right?

There are also her clothes and her accessories.

In erotica, variety is the spice not only of life but also of lust, and there should be as much variety as possible in a woman's tits, ass, hair, clothing, and accessories as possible. (Otherwise, there's no way to tell the difference between a hardened slut and an innocent ewe ready for her first, uh, sheering.) When writing about women, an author has to offer something in lieu of personality, after all.

Ladies, how can we describe thee? Let me count the ways.

Starting at the top, a writer should consult a manufacturer of hair color. By doing so, he will learn (if the writer's a she, she will know this already) that there are more colors than blonde, brown or black, and red. Each of the big three has a whole "family" of tints, tones, shades, and hues from which to choose.

According to one such manufacturer (I'd mention the name, but Literotica's not partial to the naming of names unless the names are paying to be named), hair color includes these shades: golden platinum, light ash blonde, pale golden blonde, honey blonde, brownish blonde, platinum ash with beige highlights, butterscotch, dark blonde, light beige blonde, strawberry blonde, wheat, golden lights, honey, frosted blonde, medium ash blonde, light honey brown, and ginger--and those are just the tints in the "blonde family" of hair colors. There are just as many in both the "brunette" and the "red" families. By using the exact hair color, or shade thereof, in describing your story's female characters, you can differentiate one, say, a honey blonde, from another, say, a golden light.