Whatever Your Heart Desires Part 5

It was hard at first; really hard. The initial blood work and all follow-up testing came back negative for all infectious agents. I was thankful for at least that much. It didn't bother me to go home again, either; at least, as far as the rape was concerned. It was still Home and I would continue to live there. I had plenty of reason to blame myself for my victimization, but I didn't want to dwell on that, either. What's done is done.

My trauma was Danni. This deplorable incident had cost me the one treasure I valued above all others. I had not heard from her since and had no idea where she was or what she was doing. Our home seemed empty, sterile, bereft of warmth without her. Sometimes at night, I just wandered aimlessly from room to room, trying to recapture some faint essence of her to fill the void in my heart. The thought of seeking out casual lovers to fill that void revulsed me.

I went to get my hair done, as I always did. That was part of the routine. Lexi could tell something was wrong with me. I told her everything. Priests, bartenders and hairdressers; they hear it all. She was really sympathetic. It had been such an unreal chain of events and had led to such a tragic end. She hated that I had been assaulted that way. She was heartened to learn I was coping with it as well as I was – other than the loss of Danni of course.... Her reaction was not exactly what I had expected. Certainly, she commiserated with me, but it somehow seemed the news had not taken her completely by surprise.

As I arose from Lexi's chair, I happened to catch sight of Celine at the same moment she spotted me. The stunning African-American recoiled as if stung, hastily turning away from me. That one, brief glance had spoken volumes. If she had been able to shoot daggers from her eyes, I would have been dead where I stood. I cautiously made my way to Celine's station, mentally steeling myself for the miserable, yet necessary, exchange to come.

"Don't even speak to me," she hissed, busying herself with some trivial task. "I sure as Hell don't want to speak to you!"